Crackers in my mail?

They’ve done it again. VGH & UBC Hospital Foundation has created another lumpy piece of direct mail that landed in my mailbox and practically begged to be opened.

Last time the freemium that caught my attention was a Lifesaver candy. This time it’s a package of crackers. Yes, crackers. Two soda crackers wrapped in cellophane packaging. The kind of crackers that you get with a bowl of soup at a restaurant.

And they don’t make a secret about it, either. The outer envelope shows an image of a cracker. Knowing that you’re about to open an envelope and find a cracker may not appeal to everyone, but the outer envelope tagline (shown below) gives it that extra bit of intrigue to entice even the most reluctant donor to open that envelope.

OE Tagline:

We put a pack of crackers in this envelope. How did they handle the trip?

Inside, the letter follows up nicely on the tagline with a Johnson box:

“The crackers dramatize how a fragile item can be damaged during transportation. For a critically ill person, a portable ultrasound may be their only hope.”

Well done.

Monthly giving – a few tips

Have you read Tiny Essentials of Monthly Committed Giving yet?

If not, make some time to take a look it. This informative (and fun) book is by the “Pope of Monthly Giving”, Harvey McKinnon. It covers a broad spectrum of monthly giving strategy, but you’ll also find some useful advice to apply to your writing.

So what tips should you keep in mind when writing a letter to invite people to become monthly donors?

• Donors like the convenience of giving monthly, so emphasize this in your letter.
  
• Break down a monthly pledge amount into a daily cost. 10 cents a day doesn’t sound like much of a sacrifice, but you can let the donor know how much help that adds up.
  
• Let donors know that their pledge isn’t carved in stone. They can change or even cancel it at any time they choose.

These points just skim the surface. Take a look at the book for 43 great monthly giving fundraising tips.

It’s all about “you”

A cardinal rule of direct mail copywriting? Make it conversational and make it all about the reader … not the writer. That’s where “you” comes in – one of the most important words in direct response copywriting.

In Tiny essentials of writing for fundraising, George Smith talks about the importance of using “I” and “you” to make your letters sound like an "authentic communication between two human beings." Stay away from “we”, he warns, that “corporate royal ‘we’” that comes across as “pomp-speak.”

For a great example of banishing “we” from your writing and focusing on the reader, let’s go way back to a book published in 1911, called How To Write Letters That Win.

Sample A – the first two paragraphs of a sales letter that’s far too “we” focused.

Dear Sir:

Accept our thanks for your favor just received. We are glad of this opportunity to forward you a catalogue showing the styles which we carry in our Stock Room ready for immediate use.

Of course it is impossible to show you all the styles which we make. The illustrations shown simply represent some of the season’s best sellers as selected by the leading retailers from our two hundred and fifty styles designed by our selling force.

Sample B – a bit of inspiration on how to overcome the problem.

Dear Mr. Sheldon,

What is more uncomfortable and aggravating than an ill-fitting shoe?

Make up your mind that for once in your life you will have a shoe that satisfies you to the smallest detail – a shoe that does not slip at the heel nor pinch at the toe, a shoe that will not wrinkle or run over at the side. Make up your mind that this time you will have a shoe that follows perfectly the lines of your foot, that from the very day you first put it on, feels cool and comfortable, and that will retain its trim and stylish appearance under the test of wear.

The long and short of it

Short letters (two pages or less) versus long letters (three, four, or more pages) … an age-old debate in the world of direct mail fundraising.

The advice most professionals agree on – take as long as you need to make your point. When you have a great story to tell, and you need space to include several asks, four pages can make for a great letter without decreasing response rates.

But there is a time and a place for the short letter as well … an emergency appeal … a renewal letter to donors … a letter from an organization whose mission is easily identified by the general public (Red Cross comes to mind).

The short strategy seems to work for the Multiple Sclerosis Society of Canada. Here's an example of a teeny tiny letter with address labels for donors.

Different take on a reply device

Covenant House has a reputation for creating some great fundraising letters, but their take on reply devices is just as interesting.

Reply coupons often have a similar look about them … size, shape, layout, etc. They’re usually well designed and incorporate colors or graphics that make them look like they’ve been created by a design pro.

But a recent Covenant House mailing features a reply coupon that has the same look as the letter – as though it just came off a typewriter (on one side at least). With a courier font and no graphics, it has a simple and cost-effective look that can appeal to donors who like to see their dollars spent directly where it counts – not on fundraising.





What I like about this “Reply Memo” is the mini letter it begins with. It’s about as short as it can get. Granted, the copy isn’t anything unusual or brilliant, but the short sentences are so simple and to-the-point, you can’t help but feel the urgency:

Dear Sonya,

We need your help. The warm weather is bringing more kids to the street. We’re the last and only hope for kids who are living on the street and we are stretched to the limit. The need is truly urgent. We can’t turn these kids away. Please send any gift you can. Thank you so much for your kindness.

Sister Tricia

Clever premium

It’s so simple but so effective! When a letter from Vancouver General Hospital landed in my hands, one lumpy corner immediately drew my attention. And that’s just what a premium is supposed to do.

The outer envelope tagline informed me that although I might not realize it, I do save lives, just like the people at VGH.

Hurrying to open this interesting package to find out what was inside, I was pleasantly surprised.

Sealed in clear plastic, one piece of candy – a Lifesaver. The message was loud and clear, and reinforced the messaging throughout this package – donors save lives. Well done!

Great leads: Part I

Mere seconds. In direct mail fundraising, that’s how much time you have to catch your reader’s attention before your package ends up in the garbage can.

According to Mal Warwick, in How to Write Successful Fundraising Letters, “research shows the lead of the letter has higher readership than any other element but the outer envelope copy and the P.S.”

So start your letter with a brief, but attention-getting lead paragraph. Just a simple sentence will do, says Mal.

Take note of these examples of short but powerful leads:

“Puppy mills are terrible places.”

“It was a night to remember!”

“I’m writing you today to ask you to do a very simple thing – a simple act of love and concern that can inspire hope in even the most street hardened kid.”

“Today you have a choice. A choice about your future and the future you will leave to the next generation.”

“I’ll be blunt. We need your help. Canada needs your help. Your loved ones and neighbours need your help.”

“My mother wasn’t like other mothers. When I was five years old, she broke her neck.”

“Please take to heart what I’m about to tell you. Because people’s lives are at stake – perhaps even your own.”